Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Once again Kentucky fails to place a school at the top of the list - but this time, it's a good thing

Newsweek has published a list of 100 American high schools that “do the best job of preparing average students for college.” But here's a different kind of list - party high schools.

We’re so proud to present a sampling of PLAYBOY’S TOP PARTY HIGH SCHOOLS OF 2006

1) Winter Park High School,
Winter Park, Fla.

Here’s where many attendees of Rollins College (No. 3 on Playboy’s 2002 “party colleges” list) earned their bacchanalian wings. At WPHS, blue-blooded snotlets have four years to Paris Hilton it up, maxing out credit cards they’ve swiped from their step-step-stepdads and forming arbitrary, chemically determined cliques they’ll revisit in college, when the Greek system imposes its own set of sociopathic demands. Nearby establishments expedite the process by shooting seniors free sushi and vodkatinis in exchange for minor sexual favors, and the prom is a legend unto itself: Even your chauffeur is holding!

2) Joseph Smith Preparatory School, Salt Lake City, Utah

“Two girls for every boy” isn’t just a ratio but a way of life at America’s biggest Mormon high school. Whether it’s down to the gorgeous scenery or the atmosphere of brutal paternalism, the young ladies of JSPS are infinitely eager to please, and prone to taking the fall in front of the cops whenever a wine-cooler run goes bad. Then again, there’s always the danger that the Wifey No. 4 you’ve been auditioning all semester may be called up into the big leagues by your dad or uncle just when things are getting interesting.

“When these girls get drunk, the sacred underwear goes flying.” — Donny, 15

...4) Moe Green High School,
Las Vegas, Nev.

If there’s a Sin City Jr., it’s here, where a new generation of quick-tempered blackjack dealers meets the Vivarin-addicted chorus girls of tomorrow. The student body stays up all night, trading exam keys for lines of credit and pursuing keno as an extracurricular athletic activity. Hey, it looks good on a résumé.

Number of arrests at annual Desert Plains Tailgate Picnic: Like anybody in AP math can count that high.

“What happens in Vegas, stays on your permanent record.” — Nicky, 16

This fluff from Orlando Weekly.

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