"I’m not sure that any educator,
traditional or nontraditional,
is emotionally prepared for this experience."
-- Caitlin Hannon
This from the Hechinger Report:
I broke a cardinal rule of teaching several times last year: I cried in front of my students.
Sometimes it happened out of frustration. Just as often, I was overcome during very honest conversations about the struggles my students face within and beyond the school building. At least twice the tears were brought on by uncontrollable laughter at a student’s joke.
As a first-year teacher, I figured tears (of some kind) were inevitable. I entered the classroom with a conservatory degree in acting, a bachelor’s degree in public affairs, lots of knowledge about urban education and the achievement gap, and the hope that I could improve another person’s life.
I knew I wanted to make a difference, and I thought that difference needed to start in the classroom—not in an office as a policymaker, with little or no connection to, and understanding of, what happens inside schools.
This desire, and my nontraditional education background, led me to Teach For America, a program that trains recent college graduates from various backgrounds to teach in public schools. I spent my first year teaching English at Tech High School, which serves a predominantly low-income, minority population. This year, I am teaching seventh-grade language arts at Emma Donnan Middle School.
By the end of that first year, I realized that the life I’d changed the most was my own...
15 comments:
Never let them see you cry. It's okay to talk to students, let them know how you feel, even say you are diappointed, but never, NEVER let them see you cry. Besides the fact that a teacher's tears in the classroom might be perceived as a sign of weakness, it is also slightly unprofessional.
We teachers are human beings with feelings, and we can show students our feelings, but tears betray weakness, and when my principal cried one time on the Intercom, it meant for me a loss of respect.
Insensativity can be even more harmful
9:45
Not crying in front of students is not insensitive. It is part of being a professional.
While I'm not entirely sure that crying in front of your students is the best action one could take, this teacher clearly has a big heart and cares for her students. She is driven and hard working, and tries her very best to change the lives of her students for the better. The United States needs more teachers like this. It is too easy for educators to become detached and only go through the motions of teaching. She not only wishes to teach the core content to the students, but also wants to teach them the skills to better their lives. I hope to be half the teacher she is one day, and want nothing more than to be a positive influence in the lives of my students.
I loved this article. I've been teaching in a Head Start center for the Community Action Council for over a year now and I had no idea when I went into my job just how profoundly I would be affected by the students in my classroom. It's no big secret that the children in community action centers are at risk. They live in poverty, they often have parents in jail or live with grandparents, aunts or uncles. We send them home at the end of the day not knowing where they're going, whether they'll eat dinner that night... what their home lives are even like.
I too have cried many times since becoming a teacher. Not in front of the children, but with co-workers and after leaving work in the evenings. I've seen and heard things that break my heart and heal my heart at the same time. Children can live in the worst of situations and still have bigger spirits than many of those living in the best of situations.
The end quote, about realizing the life she'd changed the most was her own... so true.
As for those who say crying in front of your students is unprofessional... I disagree. I do think it depends on the situation, the circumstances and the age of your children, but I think it's a value for the children to realize that the teacher is a human too, with feelings just like everyone else.
In high school I had a history teacher who after losing his mother talked to our class with tears in his eyes. He explained how difficult it had been and thanked us for our prayers.
I think I only respected him more after that day.
So if everyone is being a professional and not crying in front of students,then why so many complaints about disrespectful students? It seems as though some would like to confine our indentities within a narrow professional stereotype. Not saying we should all go around boo hooing but we do have to be sincere in our relatioships with students and parents. Similary, I am not sure how we can be so quick to push away being teary eyed as being weak and worthy of loss of respect but at the same time not be equally repused by harsh, rude comments made to students by teachers certainly much more often than any one crying.
I think I may have identified why our students respect for us may have wained. It was those dog goned teachers in the 50's who cried or showed fear when it was announced on the school intercom that JKF was assassinated, maybe Challenger exposion on TV during class, school shootings, natural disasters or the terrorist attacks of 911. IF those folks would have just sucked it up and been more professional, kids would be responding with "yes, sir" and not back talking. Darn weak eduators have ruined it for all of us professionals
As a seasoned teacher, I 've been reading the responses about crying. My first year in FCPS a was tough one. Due to the stress I endured, I needed to receive high blood pressure medication, and I was horrified at the lack of discipline. It was not an easy year.
Thankfully, at that time, I had a principal who was sympathetic to maintaining order in the classroom and a superintendent who stuck by his staff. My students did not like me. I had replaced a well-liked teacher who allowed the kids to do as they pleased. Every day of my first year was a struggle, but the students did learn, and I formed alliances with the parents who cared.
One day one of the less likable girls told me," We made the new math teacher cry today." There was no remorse in her eyes or in her tone. I looked at her and said calmly, "One thing a group of students like yourselves will never do to me is make me cry." I then attempted to have a conversation about their wrong actions in the math classroom. I decided then and there that I would never cry in front of my students.
For the novices out there, you will have the freedom in FCPS to cry in front of your students without a reprimand. I watch colleagues who reveal the most intimate aspects of their lives to their students. They have students as FACEBOOK friends. That is certainly their choice.
And it is my choice to go in and teach, do the best job I can, offer tutoring after school, and remain detached from my students. I
I specifically feel as if crying in front of your students isn't necessarily something that is unprofessional, or seen as wrong, but something that shows them that you are not only an educator, but a human being just like them.
Everyone who goes in as a first year teacher really doesn't know what to expect. They feel as if being the upmost professional is what's best. You're there to teach the kids and give them a great education, but what parents and other colleges don't understand is that crying out of joy, or even frustation is normal.
If you are to show your students that it's okay to open up then they respect you more. There is a fine line between what's wrong and what's right. You can't go beyond being too friendly, or too emotional. That right there is unprofessional, but expressing feelings to where the students know to respect you is important.
As a college student I've been able to observe many different classrooms. What i've noticed is that if you're more friendly and you have some emotion to teaching then the students enjoy learning.
When I become an educator myself, I won't know exactly what to expect, but I'll have a great idea of what's professional and unprofessional.
As a future teacher, this article really hit home for me. Caitlin seems like a wonderful caring teacher who truly cares about her students and her job. However, letting the students see her cry was probably not the best thing for her to do. It’s important for the students to understand that the teacher has control of the classroom and if they think that you are a pushover they will take advantage of that.
This article reminds me of one of my 8th grade teachers, who didn’t have control over her classroom and cried in front of the class more than once and the student saw this as a weakness. They took advantage of her by not doing their work, convincing her to take the class outside, and for them to receive good grades. While Caitlin seems to be a great teacher, I think it is imperative for her to express good feelings or actions of being superior to her students. This will show the children that however stressed she might feel, she always has control of herself and her classroom.
I really enjoyed reading this article. She seemed like a great teacher who had a big place in her heart for her job and her students. I don't think that a teacher crying in front of students should be viewed as a bad thing if its concerning their students. However, I do not think crying in front of students over their own personal issues is appropriate. If students see their teacher crying they might think its a sign of weakness. I know teachers are supposed to be strong in situations with students where they want to cry, but if they have a big heart such as this teacher does then it might not be possible and shouldn't be looked upon as a bad thing.
Although I am still undergoing the undergraduate process for teaching, I have experienced a multitude of teachers in my time. Experiencing two teachers that are identical is unfathomable and unrelaistic. With that being said, I have never viewed a teaching professional cry in the classroom. I have been aware of certain circumstances where a teacher excuses himself/ herself from the classroom if they become emotional, but never in front of the children. Crying is often viewed as a weakness by preschool or elementary children. Your role as an educator is to be viewed with respect and prestige, not as vulnerable. Children will trample over weak and emotional teachers, and I have experienced first hand these results.
Teachers should always excuse themselves from the presence of their class if they feel that an emotional state is quickly overcoming them. Children can often be ruthless with their words, but teachers must uphold a thick skin to such attacks. Children will also come from negative and neglected backgrounds, and these situations are often too difficult to withstand. You must always remember to act with confidence when pertaining to situations of this nature, because the children are most likely emotional about their experiences and will only become further overwhelmed if they view your emotions becoming unbalanced.
Dear Lauren,
I'm a seasoned teacher and just read your post.
Your post is proof that you are ready for the classroom. Always remember to act" With confidence!"
I hope you decide to teach in FCPS.
I agree with Lauren about leaving the classroom if you know you are going to get over emotional. I think it is important to show some emotion to your students to form a bond with them, but you still want to be professional. I don't necessarily think that crying in front of a student is a sign of weakness. I understand there might be some instances where you just cant help but cry. However, there is a difference between crying if a student is mean to you and if you have just received some devastating news.
Depending on the situation crying in front of your students is not something that a teacher should be ashamed of. My junior year in high school there was a student who committed suicide. The few days before hand my history teacher yelled at him a few times and the day we found out about his death everyone was devastated especially her. The class, led by this teacher, had a very intense tearful talk during the class period about him and his effect on everyone. Though crying can be detrimental to a teachers reputation, in some cases such as this, it was exactly what she and the students needed to get on with their lives.
My opinions on this article are mixed. I think that in some cases it would be inappropriate to cry in front of a class, because it may cause certain students to feel uncomfortable. On the the other hand, I would have to say that with certain groups of students it may cause them to see their teacher as a real person who has feelings rather than, just an instructor.
I have been in a classroom where my teacher has cried after a really rough experience. I was glad that she felt comfortable enough with our class to let out her emotions, although some of my freinds who were not as close with the teacher felt a little akward. Ultimatley it depends on the situation.
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